“We all have an unsuspected reserve inside that emerges when life puts us to the test.” – Isabel Allende
Are You Struggling With Emotional Pain or Grief Related to Infertility?
Perhaps you’re going through fertility treatments for the first time and are having trouble weighing all of your options. Perhaps you’ve been through fertility treatments before and found the emotional and financial loss too devastating to try again, and now you feel defeated. Perhaps you’re torn between religious beliefs that don’t support fertility treatments and your desire to conceive a child of your own. Do you feel like your inability to conceive is your fault? Do you wish you could just get pregnant naturally on your own without all of this intervention?
Trying to conceive can be a tedious and exhausting experience. You may wake up every day and check the calendar thinking about where you’re at in your menstrual cycle. The hormones may have you feeling out of control like you’re not yourself anymore. You schedule doctor appointments and blood draws weekly. You show up for appointments and get shuffled through giving urine samples, blood samples, getting shots, ultrasounds, and more. You go home and wait to urinate on a stick to check if you’re pregnant yet. Every time it reads “negative” you’re met with devastation and grief, and you are back to square one. And, to add to your stress, every time your friends, family or partner ask you how you are doing or if you’re pregnant yet, you have to tell the story again and re-live your disappointment. You may feel hopeless, exhausted, angry, jealous, or grief stricken. You may be trying your best to conceal your emotions at work and with your family and friends, but inside you’re in a dark place.
You Are Not Alone
There’s a lot of pressure on women who are at a reproductive age to have children. You’re expected, socially and sexually, to have the ability to naturally conceive a child. It’s not uncommon for friends, family, even strangers to comment on the “ticking” of your biological clock. Perhaps you have had a baby and are being told that you should provide them with a sibling. So, not only is there a social expectation that you can have a baby, but that you should have more than one. On top of all of your treatments and stress, these insensitive social reminders can be incredibly difficult to cope with. Although infertility counseling won’t help you get pregnant or figure out which treatments are best for you, it can provide you with the opportunity to talk about how you are feeling and your deepest hopes and desires with someone who will listen deeply with great empathy and will not judge you.
Infertility Counseling Can Help You Find Peace And Balance
Talking with an objective professional who will listen deeply as you explain what you’re going through as you consider your fertility options can be invaluable. Fertility treatments can cause tremendous emotional and mental distress, and because your treatments are only designed to address the biology of your body, the needs of your heart and soul often get overlooked.
Fertility treatments can take you on an emotional roller coaster ride. You spend so much time and energy hoping and praying that you will conceive. If treatments aren’t successful, you free fall into disappointment and grief. It can be a really scary and violent ride between hope and disappointment. You can get whiplashed, and it can lead to serious emotional and mental health issues. If you seek counseling to help you deal with this challenge you may begin to find relief and healing and restoration.
In counseling sessions, you can discuss your experiences, pain, and struggle in a warm, compassionate, safe space. I hold a degree in counseling couples and families with specific training in family issues. I am certified by Post-Partum Support International, which includes specific training in maternal mental health care. Through counseling, you can learn coping skills and find ways to manage the stress and anxiety associated with infertility treatment. You can learn ways to better communicate with your partner about your hopes and fears, your needs, and the challenges you are facing during the fertility treatments. You will learn how to manage your mental and emotional health while trying to conceive.
Infertility is a very difficult and painful experience. The roller coaster of hope and disappointment can be overwhelming. While therapy can’t fix the problem, it can provide hope, healing and the tools you need to get through this incredibly painful experience. With hope, healing and encouragement you will find ways to restore your sense of balance, find healing for your heart, and strength to persevere.
Although you can understand the benefits of infertility counseling, you may still have some questions and concerns.
Fertility treatment costs so much that I can’t afford another healthcare related cost. I have to put all my time and money into my treatments.
Fertility treatment can be very expensive and can quickly consume all of your resources of time, money and energy. However, it can also take a toll on you emotionally and physically. An important part of fertility treatment is staying healthy and keeping your stress level low. Working with a counselor can help you manage your emotions and maintain your mental and emotional health.
I have medical appointments almost every day. I don’t have time for infertility counseling.
I realize that fertility treatments take a lot of time, but you can’t underestimate the importance of your mental health and emotional wellbeing. The body’s response to depression and anxiety is not conducive to nurturing your fertility treatments. Please also know that our sessions don’t have to be every week, and my schedule is flexible to work with your time and availability. Please don’t let time be something that keeps you from seeking counseling.
If I needed therapy wouldn’t my doctor tell me so?
Your doctor is likely focused on the biological function of your body, so often they may not tend to your mental and emotional health. Although your doctor may not recommend therapeutic services, you know what’s best for you. If you feel you want or need to address your depression, anxiety, stress, or grief, I suggest you seek counseling. You may also find that your partner or family or friends are encouraging you to see a counselor. Remember, you don’t need a doctor’s recommendation to seek out infertility counseling.
Please Call Me To Learn More About Infertility Counseling
Please call me at 303–536–1906 for a free 15-minute consultation to learn more about infertility counseling and my practice. I want to help you find relief from your fears and anxiety, strategies for managing your depression and anxiety, as well as healing and encouragement for your heart.